Hello everyone and welcome back to reviewing mediocre pop charting music! Last week I was excited to look and see Ed Sheeran's name back in the Top 10. To my surprise not only was he not even in the Hot 100, but "Treat You Better" (Shawn Mendez's blatant rip-off of his slightly better yet still terrible other hit "Stitches") is on the 23rd spot and "Juju on that Beat (Tz Anthem)" is #11 on the charts. I bashed my head against my desk for 15 minutes (I'm not joking) in hopes of escaping the realization that this is what humanity has come to become. Fortunately, my prayers had been answered and "Shape of You" is now sitting in it's righteous pop chart throne. I'm not going to review the #1 song in the country because I already reviewed it, nor will I review the second biggest song in the country "Bad and Boujee" by Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert (which by the way, as a song is better than the rest generic rap but it's still terrible). Instead, I'm going to review the newest release by one of last year's biggest acts: "Paris" by The Chainsmokers. Why did I make this decision? First, the name. I asked some friends who should I review next and no one knew who Migos was, but they all liked The Chainsmokers. Secondly, after listening both songs, "Paris" is slightly more interesting than "Bad and Boujee" (and just like with Shawn Mendez, "slightly" meaning "barely").
I don't know how many times you can say something is dull before it gets, well, dull. Music is 2016 was so bad I feel my standards for new music have been significantly lower in desperate attempts to grab whatever I can find. At least in American mainstream, the music scene was either dull ambiance with a beat which were too boring to get ANYTHING out of, or songs that actually sounded like something and sucked. So pick your poison. "Paris" is a continuation of this thread and, probably because my bar has been set so low, I don't mind it. It has more energy than most songs in 2016 and just like "Closer" it has more lyrical depth than most songs in 2016. Musically, however, there's a lot of a clutter in this song. There's too much going on and its not letting anything breath. I can't hear what the piano is trying to play, for instance. I know it's a slight variation of the 4 Chords of Pop structure (D-A-Bm-G), but when I figured out the bassline the chord progression seems to be G-Bm-A-F#m. And when I play it with the song, I can play G-D-A-Bm, G-D-Bm-A, G-Bm-A-F#m, G-Bm-A-F#/D, etc. Basically, any variation of the 4 Chords structure will sound good if you play it in the song, that's how much noise there is. I've tried to find 1 variant that sounds completely off and couldn't find it as long as it starts with G. What am I trying to say here? Not only is this song uninspired but cluttered, almost as if The Chainsmokers knew how uncreative this song is and tried to hide with tons of tracks, sounds, riffs, and beats. Another problem that everyone has beaten until death is how they CAN'T sing. No exception here. The voice sounds sore, as if they physically can't sing. I will let this pass, however, because this has been a complaint in a lot of their songs. At this point, is not a matter of vocal talent anymore, that's just their sound. To me is like complaining about Bob Dylan's voice or Jimmy Hendrix's wah-wah and distortion. If you don't like it, that's fine, but that's their sound and changing it would result in a completely different artist. Any positives? Despite The Chainsmokers's inability to sing, I do like the vocal melodies and every time I listen to the song the more these riffs and melodies grow on me. They are very catchy but not "Closer" catchy. "Closer" will latch to your brain for days like a merciless parasite despite the verses being so forgettable. "Paris" is not that catchy but as a whole it is a better constructed song.
The music was very uninteresting, but the lyrics did catch my eye. The song has a "desperate lovers" vibe, but I'm not sure if said lovers are going to run away to Paris, or if they are now, in times of emotional hardship, reminiscing of their best times represented by Paris. I was leaning towards a combination of the 2 options as hinted by lines like "if we go down, we go down together" and "show them we are better". Even though they sing "we were staying in Paris" it didn't seem like it was literal. I researched to see if it was a reference to maybe Casablanca or Paris of Troy who fought bravely for his love, Helena. Looking at the video, however, I did see a little dictionary entry at the beginning that read "paris \pa-rəs\n1: a sentimental yearning for a reality that isn't genuine 2: an irrecoverable condition for fantasy that evokes nostalgia or day dreams". This definitely fits the tone of the song, but this definition felt too good to be true. I looked up the definition for Paris in several dictionaries and found nothing, which leads me to believe that The Chainsmokers made the entire thing up. In any other medium, this would've been catastrophic. In music, however, this is fine. Having this dictionary-like visual defining what "Paris" means is them literally explaining to you what the song is about. Paris in the song is a metaphor and not the actual city. This takes the line "we were staying in Paris" a whole different meaning, and with that, the song. It still feels like these lovers are in a time of emotional peril and trying to prove themselves and everyone by reminiscing of better times, but with this definition of Paris, it makes it sound more of a delusion. Is it his, is it hers? Maybe is both of them who yearn for something that is not real and, in denial, try to find it where is not. This is A LOT of emotional depth for The Chainsmokers of all people. I expect this level of songwriting from rock and metal bands writing epics, not the duo who thought "#Selfie" was a good song in ANY way.
The Chainsmokers, the artist I reviewed for no other reason other than the brand name they now are, have caught me by surprise. Musically, they are terrible. I'm not taking this back. They have an ear for nice riffs but as composers that's all they have. To me, The Chainsmokers are musically equivalent to Eiffel 65's "I'm Blue (Ba Da Dee)". One good riff and no more. "Closer" is guilty of this deed, and "Paris" is too. Before anyone complains about how "You don't get electronic music because you don't like it in the first place", I do like electronic music. Caravan Place and Alstroemeria Records are 2 great electronic artists I can think of right of the top of my head. The Chainsmokers are just run of the mill mediocre pop sensations. However, I will admit, I did underestimated them as songwriters. I'm very pleasantly surprised to see the level of depth they can get with an admittedly cliche subject matter. My music standards might be at the bottom of the barrel right now, but "Paris" is undoubtedly a step in the right direction for Pop music.
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